If you’ve sent a request for a Free Personal Tarot Reading in Agony Aunt Style you may be wondering why your free reading request has not been selected. Here I take examples of the questions I have received in just the last week and attempt to explain why I did not conduct readings for them. In many cases I am hoping this explanation alone can help to provide a new insight into the situation. I would love to help every person that contacts me, but sometimes the act of reading for certain questions is the least helpful thing I can do for someone, no matter how desperately they think they need the answer.
“I am severely depressed”, “I am thinking about suicide”
I receive many questions where the enquirer ‘needs’ to know the answer to a question (usually if something will or will not happen) because they are depressed or suicidal. This is a very serious matter and requires professional help. You are in more pain than you can cope with right now and that is totally understandable, but a tarot reading will do more harm than good. I know people argue that a positive answer to their question will give them hope and make them feel better, but what if the answer is not positive? The issue here is with how you are coping with the situation, not with the situation itself. You need professional advice from a counsellor and/or medical professional who can help you to navigate this time in your life, especially if you feel the outcome of a situation is literally life or death.
“I am considering entering into a relationship. Please tell me that he will not harm me physically, emotionally or financially?”
This question arises from fear. Yes, allowing someone to get close to us can be frightening, and nobody wants to get hurt in love but does this fear have an actual basis in reality? Has the person behaved in a way that is threatening or worrying? In which case, the answer is obvious and you should think twice about a relationship with them. If they have done nothing but you are still worried, then you need to look inward at what is motivating these fears. Did a previous relationship end badly? Are your own strong emotions scaring you? A tarot reading cannot make your choice for you, and the only reading I would even remotely suggest is one where you explore your own emotions, rather than looking at an external confirmation as to the outcome of a relationship from the cards.
“What does the future hold with my partner?” “Will things work out with me and my boyfriend?”
This question is very similar to the previous one, but is based on fears once you are in the relationship. Both questions treat the future of the relationships as if it is a foregone conclusion and something that will happen to them rather than something they have a hand in shaping or creating. This is a topic that I have gone into in some depth previously, so I would recommend that you read Use the Tarot for a Better Future for Your Relationship.
“Is my husband having an affair?” “Is my boyfriend cheating on me?” “How does she feel about me?” “Will he marry me?”
As I have said before, I have two major problems with these types of questions. Firstly, what you are basically asking the cards to do is to spy on your partner, and that is something I feel is morally and ethically wrong. Secondly, readings of this kind speak to some bad communication within your relationship. Have you spoken to your partner about your fears or doubts? If you have, why do you not trust your partner? If you haven’t, you cannot use a tarot reading to bypass communication, no matter how difficult such a discussion would be. If you have some evidence that suggests your partner is being unfaithful, then you need to ask your partner to explain, not the cards. The cards are all about empowering you to make choices; you need to get the answers to your relationship from the other person in it, not from a reading.
“Will I find my true love?” “Have I met my soul mate?”
I had actually planned a longer article just on the subject of soul mates and true love, so until I get that written, I just want to say that too many of us put ridiculous amounts of pressure on ourselves and our relationships because of unrealistic notions regarding what a relationship should be. Have you defined what kind of relationship you would like? Think about your ideal partner; how does he or she make you feel? Life does not just happen to us, we are active participants and there is so much we can do to get what we want out of life and love. By all means, use the cards to help you to define how you can find love or the kind of mate you desire, but don’t get caught up in the false notion of true love and soul mates. The kind of person who would be perfect for us in our teens, is definitely not who we want in our twenties and we desire someone totally different in our thirties. Look at how you can find what you want rather than just wondering in a reading if it will happen.
I am sorry if I am repeating myself on many of these topics, but I seem to write guide after guide and yet still people are all too willing to give up their power to the cards, or seek a tarot reading when they need other professional help. It is a real cause for concern for me, so if I have to repeat myself, I’m happy to do it because if it helps to empower even one person, than it has been for a good cause. The quote I used in the image is from Steve Maraboli’s ‘Life, the Truth and Being Free’ and I think I would paraphrase it and say “Do what you think is right. Don’t let tarot readings make the decision of what is right and wrong for you”.