I am happy to say that I finally managed to complete the first Free Personal Reading in Agony Aunt Style. I felt awful because I launched the promotion but then didn’t do any readings firstly because of the Christmas rush, but also because this is the busiest time of year for me for reading requests, so I thank everyone for their patience and support and especially to ‘M’* from Chicago. I also have to thank ‘M’ for the question which was submitted; it is a great example of the kind of approach I recommend to the tarot. The question revolves around issues in a relationship, but its focus is on what ‘M’ can learn from the experiences. Too many people ask about their partner and when he or she will change or if the other person will make the relationship better etc. The focus of this question remains very firmly on the enquirer, but does not suppose any kind of answer from the tarot and does not limit it to a Yes/No response. Instead you get the impression of openness to understanding; of learning lessons from difficulties within a relationship.
This is the first time I have read in such an open and public way, so it has been strange, especially with the logistics of maintaining the enquirer’s anonymity but helping to convey their story and reading to others in a more succinct way than I usually do. But thanks to the kindness and understanding of ‘M’ and this first reading, hopefully things will run more smoothly from here forwards.
Below are the question and a summary of the messages from the reading, but you can read the full reading with a breakdown of the card meanings and spreads here.
My lover is currently going through menopause as well as pressures from her employer. She has been using drugs and alcohol as well. In turn, she has alienated me and has become angry and aggressive towards me. This has caused me panic, despair and depression. My question is, what lessons do I have to learn from this experience?
The main message that seemed to be coming up across the reading is that of focus; it is time to narrow your focus and to look at what it is that you want. It may be that your focus has been on helping your partner, or that you feel that her problems are so much worse than your own. But while being there for another is a wonderful thing, one cannot neglect the self and everything that is going on with you.
It seems that right now you are trying to keep things as balanced as possible. This may mean that while your partner is going through her issues and problems, you are trying to be the equalising force; the stabilising factor. It can also mean that you are trying to keep things as normal as possible. The latter may be fine in the short term, but can mean that necessary changes that need to take place may also be prevented from naturally occurring.
The cards that came up in the future position are especially telling in order to move forward; acknowledging that you need love and support is one key factor as well as realising that the way your partner feels is solely the way she does and the way you do is the same for you. The two viewpoints don’t have to be seen as combative or one as being right and the other as wrong. Both are individually what they are for each of you. Only once these are properly and constructively aired and heard can a path forward be found. Also, do not be afraid to turn to friends and family for support. Your partner may not be in a position to give you the support that you need right now, but that does not mean that you do not need a network of love and support.
The Queen of Cups in the goals area reminds you of two things; firstly not to neglect your own emotional side and secondly to remember what it is that you want from your partner. I know you said you have been feeling very depressed in reaction to everything that has been happening, but none of those emotional factors came up in your reading, which would lead me to think that either you have been hiding that part of you or at the very least not expressing it. This can happen when we are confronted with a volatile and/or stable personality and we’re worried that any reaction on our part could lead to bad reactions from the other person.
There was the indication that you may have other choices available to you right now, and in deciding if one of these is right for you, I would suggest that you fully deal with your current situation. So, look at what it is that you want or need, then to the needs and wants of your partner. Is the love that you share still there and still enough of a motivating factor to keep you in the relationship?
Remember, sometimes the worst has to happen before we can start to rebuild and grow again, so do not be afraid of change by clinging to what was in the fear that things will get worse. Things may not ever return to the way they were, but you can be sure that the way they are now is no good either, so change is the only answer and by allowing that to happen they could even be better than ever before.
The three cards in your outcome speak strongly of being able to turn to your support network, in having faith in stepping forward and of the beauty of connecting with another. We can only have faith in stepping forward when we do not fear what those steps will bring and that can only happen by asking ourselves what it is that we really want, what we’re willing to endure to get there and be willing to draw a line when enough is enough. The 6 of Cups is often seen as the soul mates card and it may be that this is how you regard your partner now or what it is that you want from a partner. Be true to yourself and all things will come to you.
Enquirer’s unedited response: “The reading was excellent! It brought forth several options for me in that, I don’t have to suffer! It is best if I go to a support network of friends. I don’t want to obsess and be hurt so that I will do! The reading was concise and very understandable and I’m so happy and very satisfied! Feel free to post this to the site. Thanks, M”
If you would like to submit a question for a free tarot reading, read Free Personal Tarot Reading in Agony Aunt Style for more details and fill out the form there.
*Initial used at the enquirer’s request. All information from the question to the response has been posted with permission.