Aquarian Insight, at least in this online format, was set up in 2010, but I’ve been working with energy my whole life and with the tarot and reading for other people since 1995. This was never ‘the plan’ for this straight-A student, who declared she was an Atheist at age 15 and prided her rational thought. I always envisioned a high flying career, preferably in the corporate world and that is the direction I initially took. But this is why you will often hear me say life is a delicate dance between fate and free will – my path took me in directions I had never imagined.
I had an on again off again love affair with all things religious, supernatural and paranormal, but originally that was because I believed I couldn’t say I didn’t believe something if I didn’t know what I did not believe – yeah, my Sagittarius rising really shows there. I worked hard, played hard and brushed off the stresses of life behind, what I now know, was a facade of ‘positive thinking’ or what I call “slapping a smile on it”. My impending Saturn return brought with it chronic illness and there the true journey began. It was a few years and many tests later that I had the diagnosis of ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) and a myriad of other health issues but even then I was prepared to beat it and soldier. All my attempts to fix, escape and ‘cure’ took an increasing toll on my health until finally I was bedridden.
The ensuing years, through plenty of shadow work, getting to know the real me, working with people in the chronic illness community, dealing with relationship – romantic, friends, family, colleagues and strangers – patterns, social isolation, financial concerns and the exhilirating highs and desperate lows of all these different areas have made me the person I am today. I have known days where I was afraid I would die and even scarier were those when I lay broken, in pain in a bed afraid that I would not, that this would be all my life would ever be. Everything I bring to Aquarian Insight is from my own experience – I have lived it, felt it, been there – and I am happy to share this, not because your experience is the same as mine, but because it isn’t. The details don’t matter, as my overall take away through all this has been to believe in the miraculous nature of life, to see the miracle that I am as are we all. We truly can have the experience we desire because this life is not happening to us – it’s ours and we are the crucial factor. At the core of everything I do is the belief that the best way to predict the future is to create it. Who wants a prediction of one possible future when every future exists in potentiality?
The tarot for me is a ‘Rorschach test for the soul’. The pictures within a deck tell stories that are our stories and allow us to explore that deafening sound or silence in our hearts and minds. I am a massive fan of astrology and have been interested in it for even longer than I have been interested in the tarot. I am not a believer in causality – if it’s written in the stars, the celestial messages are a commentary on what we are doing, they are not the strings dictating our movements – that would make us mere puppets and we are anything but.
I know I control my experience of life, no matter what physically comes up – after all, we are here to play with others who all have the free will to what they will. I found my own power to do so when I had little control or power over my physical body. I plan to live authentically, to experience and grow until I take that last breath and I am here to saviour every minute; the tears and the laughter, the love and the pain, the wins and the losses, the sunshine and the rain.
You don’t have to take my word for it, come join me and let me show you how you can live authentically because authenticity, the power to be able to live exactly as the beautiful being that you are, is the only freedom that counts.
I love you,
Jay – Aquarian Insight